The Shit Joke Thread

Talk about anything you like. Don't forget to add a NSFW tag if it's Not Safe For Work!
User avatar
Merlin
Posts: 577
Joined: Thu Mar 31, 2016 9:51 pm

Re: The Shit Joke Thread

Postby Merlin » Fri Dec 09, 2016 2:33 pm

A bloke on a tractor has just driven past me shouting “The end of the world is nigh!!”
I think it was Farmer Geddon.
User avatar
[DVDF]Waspy
Posts: 184
Joined: Tue Apr 19, 2016 7:54 am

Re: The Shit Joke Thread

Postby [DVDF]Waspy » Wed Dec 14, 2016 2:21 pm

Image
The one who laughs laughs, laughs laughs.
User avatar
Roostah
Posts: 249
Joined: Mon Feb 15, 2016 5:14 pm

Re: The Shit Joke Thread

Postby Roostah » Fri Dec 16, 2016 9:42 pm

She wears my t-shirt to bed.
She wears my jacket when she's cold.
She'll even wear my boxers.
But when I wear her panties one fucking time, I have 'serious mental issues' and I have 'overstepped my boundaries'.
User avatar
Roostah
Posts: 249
Joined: Mon Feb 15, 2016 5:14 pm

Re: The Shit Joke Thread

Postby Roostah » Fri Dec 16, 2016 9:46 pm

Well it's getting to that time of year when my wife gets drunk and gives her annual blow job.

I really do hope it's me this year.
User avatar
Roostah
Posts: 249
Joined: Mon Feb 15, 2016 5:14 pm

Re: The Shit Joke Thread

Postby Roostah » Fri Dec 16, 2016 9:46 pm

I saw my midget neighbour at the bus stop yesterday and said "hop in I'll give you a lift"

He said "fuck off"

What an ungrateful bastard! so I zipped up my backpack and carried on walking
User avatar
Ouch!
Posts: 44
Joined: Sat Sep 24, 2016 5:29 pm
Location: Band Camp

Re: The Shit Joke Thread

Postby Ouch! » Sun Dec 18, 2016 4:24 pm

What do slugs say to snails?

"Big Issue!"
"Get your copy of the Big Issue!"
User avatar
Ouch!
Posts: 44
Joined: Sat Sep 24, 2016 5:29 pm
Location: Band Camp

Re: The Shit Joke Thread

Postby Ouch! » Sun Dec 18, 2016 4:28 pm

I went to the pub the other day.
I sat down at the bar and there were some free peanuts in a bowl.
I took some peanuts and a voice said "You're a handsome sort of guy, I bet you wow the ladies!"
I needed cigarettes and went to the vending machine I put my money in and I got no cigarettes out and the machine said "You're a fat, ingnorant cunt!"
The barman explained that the peanuts are complimentary, but the vending machine is out of order!

Ouch!
User avatar
Merlin
Posts: 577
Joined: Thu Mar 31, 2016 9:51 pm

Re: The Shit Joke Thread

Postby Merlin » Sun Dec 18, 2016 4:28 pm

:uglylaff: :uglylaff: :uglylaff: :uglylaff: :uglylaff:
Ouch! wrote:What do slugs say to snails?

"Big Issue!"
"Get your copy of the Big Issue!"
User avatar
Merlin
Posts: 577
Joined: Thu Mar 31, 2016 9:51 pm

Re: The Shit Joke Thread

Postby Merlin » Sun Dec 18, 2016 4:29 pm

News: ‘Boy George’s reptile bites 5 people in one day.’
He needs a calmer chameleon.
User avatar
Merlin
Posts: 577
Joined: Thu Mar 31, 2016 9:51 pm

Re: The Shit Joke Thread

Postby Merlin » Sun Dec 18, 2016 4:31 pm

Why can’t dyslexics tell jokes?
They always punch up the fuckline

Return to “The Pub”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest